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Have clutter? Let’s get this clear…

If you have clutter and it hasn’t built up solely through life and lack of time to deal with it (ie you feel emotional about your clutter and it’s hard for you to make decisions on what to do with) then this is for you.

You matter

Clutter is rarely about the “stuff” but our relationship to it and the emotions involved with the circumstances we acquired it. Today, I want you to know that what you want is the most important thing.

It might be a revelation to you but your true authentic feeling matter. Your wishes, thoughts and good old self are important. I’d say, the most important thing.

If you have a lot of clutter I suspect you tend to be a bit of a people pleaser. Do you tend to put others first, care about what people think, feel less worthy of having things the way you want?

Much of your clutter may have built up because you find it hard to make decisions or stand up for what you want. When you’re clear on your worth and what you want, how you want to feel and how you will allow others to treat you, it’s easier to make decisions.

If you don’t know how you want to feel or won’t allow yourself to accept that these feelings are ok it’s much harder to decide whether to keep something or let it go.

When you set yourself a bench mark things get more black or white. The item you’re holding either makes you feel like that or it doesn’t.

How do you want to feel about your home?

I’d really like you to take some time this week to think about what you honestly want for your home or clutter. Really truly deep down inside how do you want to feel?

Not based on what you think you should feel or how you know other people want you to feel or behave. Put yourself first because if you’re out of alignment and not honouring what you truly want then you’re never going to be in the best place to help anyone else around you. Promise.

Think of something that makes you feel great when you use it, wear it or look at it. There’s your benchmark. If something doesn’t make you feel like that, why are you keeping it?

Of course some things might not make you feel delighted, but the effect of them does. For example looking at your hoover may not invoke feelings of joy. However decluttering it and ending up with the effects of an unvacuumed home would probably do the opposite of making you delighted.

Begin with the end in mind

The lesson here is to begin with the end in mind but think about how you want to feel as well as how you want the space to look. What do you want to get out of your decluttering?

Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor – it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living. ~ Peter Walsh

It might also be worth taking a moment to write down how that makes you feel. What’s coming up when you think about creating that space or feeling. What niggling doubts are you having that it’s possible? What thoughts are coming up about other people’s opinions?

What worries are coming up about decluttering in general? Ask yourself if they’re really true and then while you’re at it remember to disregard what other people think of you. It’s none of your business. Each of us have our own take on reality viewed through the lens that our personal life experiences have shaped.

What others think is none of your business

How people perceive you and want they think might be completely false. You can’t spend all your time trying to work out what they think of you. It’s draining and really hard work to wear a mask all the time. Obviously you’re not going to just read this and suddenly not care about what others think of you. It’s a process but perhaps it’s a new concept to you. It’s so much easier to be you and make decisions on what you want and how you want to feel than to constantly try and work out how to behave based on how someone else may or may not perceive you.

On that note it’s time to drop the guilt around letting gifted items go. Again we tie ourselves up in knots trying to do the right thing by others. But if the person who gifted you the item knew that collectively these items were causing you stress do you honestly think they’d want you to keep hold of them? I think that’d be a resounding no! Guilt’s too heavy to carry around all the time. Attach it to the items and let the whole lot go.

Be realistic and kind to yourself

To keep yourself in this right frame of mind around decluttering remember to treat yourself with kindness. Know that decluttering normally happens in stages. You’ll probably run out of physical and mental energy before you’ve tackled all your clutter so stop before you get to that point by chunking down your sessions (and be happy with yourself for what you’ve achieved). If your clutter’s built up over a long period of time you’re not likely to eliminate it all in a couple of weekends. Know that, accept it and move on.

Your declutter muscles strengthen over time too. It may feel like you’re starting slow and small but you’ll gain confidence and, subsequently, momentum over time. So just begin. Do start small, pat yourself on the back for whatever you get done, share your tiny wins and let the flywheel gain speed.

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